im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
