drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
