Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
