You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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