no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
