It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
