You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
