The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
