she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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