What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
What drink are we having for lunch?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
