Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
