you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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