It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
