i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
