Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
