i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
