Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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