I haven't been this sober since birth.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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