I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
