I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
