She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
