I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
