seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
