so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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