A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
