For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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