1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
