Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
