you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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