Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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