What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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