why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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