Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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