my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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