I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
