thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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