He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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