corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
