is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dick very happy bro
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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