im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
