i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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