I accidentally had phone sex last night
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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