i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Randomize
