I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
