Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
