And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
