My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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