Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
