I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
