you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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