i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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