yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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