Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
