I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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